Kevin Proctor has broken his silence on last month's drug scandal, saying he can only move on from the drama once he gains the respect back from his teammates and family.
Proctor addressed media for the first time since he and former New Zealand captain Jesse Bromwich were caught allegedly snorting cocaine following the Test loss in Canberra.
The incident led to Proctor voluntarily standing down from co-captaincy duties at the Titans, as well as a club-imposed four-game suspension and World Cup ban for the Kiwis.
Proctor made his return in the Titans' loss to South Sydney on Friday but on Monday admitted he had plenty of making up to do with his teammates.
"I owe them a lot. I have to earn everyone's respect back. I let a lot of people down, including my teammates, the club, my country, the NRL, and most of all, my family," Proctor said.
"Once I start earning everyone's respect back and get back to doing what I love, I'll move on from this."
He spoke of the pain he had brought on his family and vowed to grow from the ordeal.
"It's been tough for everyone. I don't want to drag them through that anymore. Just trying to put all that behind me and let my actions do the talking," he said.
"And I'm a father as well. I need to be a better role model to my kids, and that's why I'm working really hard to put all this behind me."
Proctor, who returned in Friday's loss to South Sydney, denied he had a drinking problem.
"I just had some bad choices. I've got the welfare team here to help me out and deal with those situations a lot better. I think I'm coming out the other side," he said.
As part of Proctor's punishment, the 28-year-old was fined $A20,000 ($NZ20,800) and ordered to undergo 50 hours of community service with the Salvation Army.