The price of freedom, they say, is eternal vigilance.
This has never been more true than in today's globalised digital world where the price of our freedom to enjoy the internet is eternal vigilance against the pearl-clutching killjoys who are forever trying to spoil our fun.
This risk is starkly illustrated by a new report from the Pew Research Centre on how people view and experience online harassment.
Half of women surveyed for the study believe offensive online content isn't taken seriously enough.
In contrast, 64 per cent of men surveyed — and 73 per cent of men aged 18-29 — believe people take offensive content too seriously.
It demonstrates the truth of the old maxim: "Chicks be shrill, dudes be chill."
Obviously, I sympathise with the fairer sex and the stress that online interaction causes them. It can't be easy to be a woman and not have that natural resilience that flows in the veins of all men.
I mean, as a straight, white man, I cop my share of abuse online: just last week, someone on Twitter called me "occasionally intemperate". Pretty vicious stuff, you'll agree.
But the difference between me and a woman is, I didn't collapse onto a chaise longue and start fanning myself with a New Idea about it.
I just got on with things in a manly fashion, slightly deader inside but all the stronger for it.
Still, I'd like to help you ladies learn to deal with online tribulations as calmly as I do. That's why I've pulled together a few handy hints — my Helpful And Non-Judgmental Guide To Internet Interaction For Crybaby Snowflakes.
1. Just log off
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the butterfly house. If being online is causing so much angst, just don't be online.
To be honest, this is such a simple and elegant solution I'm pretty surprised women haven't thought of it themselves.
Oh sure, some may argue that without the internet they'll be "disconnected", that they need the internet for "work", or that being permanently offline robs them of "even the most basic engagement with, or knowledge of, the world around them".
But come on, girls, can't you read a book?
2. Be nicer
A lot of men become abusive online for one very simple reason — they have been wounded to the core by the rudeness and vulgarity of women.
A quick scan of social media will reveal dozens of women hurling savage epithets like "dickhead" or "douchebag" at innocent men whose only crime was to desire some cordial conversation about politics or video game journalism.
It's no wonder that these men, hurting as they are, respond with a certain amount of measured criticism and/or moderate death threats.
But ladies, you'll be amazed at the different response you get if you're a little more civil and affectionate.
In the physical world, smiling at the men you meet goes a long way to obviating the need for them to scream at you. It's exactly the same online.
Probably the reason that offensive content online is getting you in such a tizzy is you were tense to begin with. It's a common problem nowadays, when many women have both a job AND a car.
Before going online, why not run a nice bath and light some scented candles, as you lasses always enjoy?
And when you feel like the Snapchats are getting a bit much for you, pop out for a pedicure — it'll help return you to your sunny, cuddly self in no time.
4. Try to be like a man and think logically for a minute
Why are you getting so upset about a silly little internet fight? Is it really that important?
You don't even know this man, and you're letting him get you all flustered.
I guarantee you, the guy who is calling you a c**t and posting the address of your workplace in a Facebook comment thread isn't becoming over-emotional about your debate — why are you?
5. Learn to take a joke
Our po-faced society unfortunately teaches young people to take everything literally. The "accepted wisdom" goes that you should assume you're being threatened just because someone told you they are planning to commit acts of violence upon your body.
But this doesn't take into account the new avant-garde of comedy.
Many internet users are at the cutting edge of this movement, and it's important to recognise that whatever he's saying to you, he's almost certainly joking, and if you take a break from being uptight for a minute, you'll probably find it really funny.
Yes, out of context a rape threat seems a bit harsh, but in the context of it being directed at someone who just shared an article about the debilitating impacts of workplace sexual harassment on women — that irony is what makes the gag zing.
And also …
6. Learn to take a compliment
Many young women have such low self-esteem these days that they find it difficult to accept positive feedback about themselves.
But life is much more enjoyable if you can learn to appreciate the attention rather than lash out against it.
Remember just how flattering it is when a man tells you that you are beautiful or asks you out or messages you 300 times asking why you won't talk to him or writes a 3000-word fan fiction about what you and him could do in his basement.
Don't be so down on yourselves, girls — you ARE pretty enough to deserve all this!
7. Embrace the dick pic
Obviously the most flattering thing a man can do is send you a picture of his penis.
It is an act of deep devotion, showing you the most vulnerable, sensitive part of himself (it's little wonder then that more than half of women aged 18-29 surveyed in the Pew study reported receiving an explicit image they didn't ask for) .
So don't recoil when you see that proud upstanding member in your inbox — rejoice, for you have made a friend for life who is clearly prepared to spend more time setting up such an intimate shot than he will contemplating whether you actually want one.
Also, you can print them out and have them framed, and they make fantastic conversation pieces at your next dinner party.