‘I feel constant anxiety’: how caring for a seriously unwell pet can lead to stress and burnout

Living with a pet brings many benefits, including constant presence, love and support. Pet ownership is also linked with a lower long-term risk of early death.

Most of us would do anything for our pets if they become unwell. But just as caring for a human loved one can come at great personal cost, a growing body of research shows that’s also true for many pet owners looking after a seriously ill pet.

This stress is often known as “caregiver burden”.

Stress, depression, burnout and anxiety

One 2017 study looked at how people with healthy pets fared compared to those caring for pets with serious diseases.

It found many of those looking after seriously ill animals felt they didn’t have enough time for themselves due to the time they had to spend with their pet.

Compared to owners of healthy pets, those caring for unwell pets experienced:

greater burden, stress and symptoms of depression/anxiety, as well as poorer quality of life.

Our 2023 research into experiences of people looking after older dogs showed similarly concerning results.

We surveyed people with dogs eight years or older. Some of these dogs were living with canine cognitive dysfunction, a form of dementia similar to Alzheimer’s disease in people.

Out of the 637 respondents to our survey, 16% had a high burden of care likely to be associated with negative psychological, physical and financial outcomes.

One respondent told us:

My partner and I cannot leave him home alone for long at all […] I worry about [my pet’s] quality of life. I feel my partner is really struggling with [my pet’s] deterioration and when the time comes for euthanasia I know it will be me forcing the issue. I feel constant anxiety about this decision looming.

A higher burden of care was associated with the dog having more severe canine cognitive dysfunction, pet owners who were aged between 25 and 44 years, and those who lived alone.

This makes sense, because people who live alone don’t have another person to support or help them. The most difficult dog behaviours people reported were night-time disturbances and barking.

Burden of care in other situations

Any significant pet disease or disability is likely to be associated with stress in their caregivers.

Even behavioural problems in dogs, such as aggression or separation-related disorder, have been associated with clinically significant strain in more than 68% of people.

Most of the research has been done in dogs, but owners of ill cats also have a higher burden, although it appears less than owners of an ill dog.

We previously showed that a third of owners of cats with epilepsy are likely to be experiencing high levels of carer stress or strain.

These problems were worse in owners who did not feel supported by their vet. For example, they may feel they’re being rushed through appointments, or that their concerns are being dismissed.

Pet owners more likely to feel this caregiver stress included those who were younger than 55, and those whose cat had uncontrolled seizures.

Strong emotions and complex needs

The burden of caring for an unwell pet is not well recognised, even by vets.

People suffering this kind of carer stress are likely to require more time in consultations at the vet’s office, visit more frequently, and become angry and emotional.

From a vet’s perspective, clients with such strong emotions and complex needs can be challenging.

How can you get help?

If you or somebody you know is struggling with caring for a seriously ill pet, find a vet you trust and feel comfortable with. If you can tell them what you are struggling with, the vet may be able to provide some support.

Call on your village! Ask friends and family for help to provide you with respite. We often do it when we first bring a new puppy or kitten home, but don’t think it’s OK to ask for help when they’re sick or ageing and need more care.

Know that it’s OK to sometimes feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or even resentful towards your pet. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It means providing this level of care is hard.

Despite the hardships, many caregivers find comfort in their deep connection to their pets. One of our respondents in the senior dog study wrote:

every moment I have with her now is a blessing. She has given me so much over the last ten years; it’s time to pay back now.

Pets also give meaning to our lives. In our study of cats with epilepsy, one person wrote:

I think that most of the people are not aware of the benefits of living with the cat with special needs.

Supporting the human-animal bond means supporting both humans and animals. We’re all better off when we recognise and support people struggling with caring for their pets.

If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636.

Susan Hazel has received funding from the Waltham Foundation and is affiliated with the Dog and Cat Management Board of South Australia, and the RSPCA South Australia.

Tracey Taylor receives funding from the Waltham Foundation.