Alberto Ravagnani laughs when he is asked about being known around the world as the "hot priest".
"It's funny because, to be honest, I'm not self-confident at all," he tells triple j hack.
"I've never had any kind of relationship with anybody … so it's surprising what people are saying about me."
Ravagnani has grown a huge social media following in recent years, preaching on YouTube, taking gym selfies and even admitting to using ChatGPT to write his sermons.
Now he is at the centre of intense discussions about the traditions and future of the Catholic church after sensationally announcing last month he was quitting the priesthood.
Ravagnani says one issue in particular was front-of-mind for him when making the decision to leave, which he writes about in his new book, La Scelta, or "The Choice".
"While I'm still a Catholic, I am no more a priest, so theoretically I can have sex," he tells hack.
"I wanted to become a priest, but I didn't actually want to be a celibate man.
"It's the reason that touches my body, my flesh, my identity, and the one I felt more than [any] other."
The celibacy problem
After seven years as a Catholic priest in Italy and six years before that studying at a seminary, Ravagnani says the issue of celibacy has always been complicated for him.
"At first I was really convinced that it was good for me," he tells hack.
"But at a certain point, I realised that it prevented me from feeling my humanity fully.
"In the end, I realise that I couldn't stay within the rules."
Unlike other religions, the Roman Catholic Church requires priests, brothers and nuns to commit to a life of celibacy — meaning they must abstain from marriage and sexual relations.
The tradition dates back centuries and according to church teaching, the priestly vow of celibacy is to promote a stronger connection with God and allow a greater dedication to ministry.
But Ravagnani says he realised early on it would be a problem for him.
"I struggled with masturbation and I remember that I was feeling very guilty about it," he says.
"I went to confession … and the first time I confessed it, the priest didn't even care.
"Somewhere in my mind I thought, 'Maybe all priests have this problem?'
"Our sexuality is a very difficult thing because it is connected with our identity and with the need we have to express ourselves and feel loved."
Ravagnani describes feeling "like a hypocrite" when preaching to his young worshippers about love, sex and relationships.
"They really trusted me … and I had to give them advice," he says.
"I was good at talking but I couldn't apply all of this stuff to myself."
Influencer priest
Ravagnani is well known in Italy for his unorthodox approach to spreading the word.
He has amassed hundreds of thousands of followers since creating his first social media video at the beginning of Italy's COVID-19 lockdowns in 2020.
"I became friends with influencers and famous people," he says.
"Then I started to go to the gym and even show my body on social media, which is quite weird for a priest."
He soon realised that some parts of the church were taking issue with what he was doing.
"I started to say things which were quite critical of what the church does," Ravagnani says.
"It was a pain in the neck for the church, having a priest that keeps breaking the rules."
'I decided to change'
It wasn't only the celibacy rule that concerned Ravagnani about the future of the Catholic church, but also how priests portrayed themselves within the community.
He points to clerical clothing as a potential barrier to people approaching him for help or guidance and recalls a gay worshipper admitting the black robes "scared" him.
"What kind of religion are we expressing if we keep on dividing ourselves from other people?" Ravagnani says.
"Jesus didn't do that.
"The way we behave should be the mark that allows people to recognise that we are Christians, and not only our clothes."
'They insulted me'
Criticism swiftly followed Ravagnani's decision to leave the church last month.
Some have accused him of caring more about growing his social media following than spiritual guidance.
"They insulted me, they tried to delegitimise me," he says.
"They said I didn't study theology properly, they told me that I just wanted to make money, social media spoiled my life, and the devil stole my vocation."
But the former priest rejects the allegations.
"Social media has always been an instrument to reach people,' he says.
"I was a successful priest, a serious priest and I studied theology.
"I freely decided to leave the ministry."
The case for change
Ravagnani stresses that the Catholic church remains an important part of his life.
"I still want to be Catholic and I believe in this church," he says.
"This choice was not to escape but to try to live the change I want to see for the church."
When asked whether he believes the celibacy rule is contributing to a high proportion of child sexual abuse within the church, Ravagnani acknowledges the church's problems but adds that abuse is widespread throughout society.
He admits, however, that the celibacy rule may be acting as a "trigger".
"These are symptoms of a disease which is connected with power," Ravagnani says.
He says he hopes the church makes moves to reform and become more inclusive in the years ahead.
"I don't know when it's going to happen," he says.
A future of freedom
The most immediate priority for Alberto Ravagnani, now that he has handed in his clerical collar and lost the customary Italian honorific "Don" from his name, is figuring out what he's going to do with his life.
He says he is committed to continuing his mission of helping young people achieve happiness in life.
But he admits it is daunting making his own way without the financial security of life as a priest within the church.
"I think it's going to be quite difficult because I've never done it, but I mean, everybody does it," he tells hack.
"So I'll learn. I'm not scared."
For the many followers demanding to know if Ravagnani already has a partner, he says he is still single.
He is looking forward to sharing his life with someone in the future, saying it's "one of the most important issues for him".
"I'm really happy and I'm excited to know what's going to happen to me," Ravagnani says.
"I'm faithful."
