After 10 years of marriage and two kids, Joseph Heath says he and wife Laura are still in the "honeymoon phase".
"And part of that is thanks to romance novels," says the 31-year-old, based in the US.
Joseph says romance novels are "one of the best things to happen" to his marriage, specifically when it comes to intimacy.
"I don't necessarily read romance books fully, but I do read scenes my wife shows me or listen to clips from audiobooks."
While spicy literature can help women with a "mental warm-up" when it comes to sex, their male partners can benefit too, explains Armin Ariana, a sexologist and president of the Society of Australian Sexologists Queensland branch.
"There's a trend in [heterosexual] couples where most go into what we can call a three-act play: kiss, touch, penetrate," Dr Ariana says.
"Romance novels show you hundreds of other ways it could look different; and bring that connection and intimacy into reality."
Enjoying romantic fiction as a couple
Laura Heath, aged 30, began sharing her love of romance books on social media in 2020 and has attracted almost 300,000 followers on TikTok.
Laura also says the genre has made a "very positive" impact on her sex life with Joseph.
"We have discovered new things from romance books and let me just say, thank goodness for authors writing such creative spicy situations, it has been life changing, truly."
Dr Ariana says sexual desire thrives on novelty, imagination and emotional connection, and romance is "just one doorway" into that.
He says erotic literature acts as an "imagination gym".
"Women are good at appreciating when reading romance, they get that sense of desire … 'I see how it feels to be desired or wanted'.
"It helps them warm up [for sex]."
He says men reading women-centred spice can help rewrite the sexual script in their relationship.
"In a heterosexual setting, regardless of culture or society, most of us fall into the macho nature of men — that women give, men take.
"Stories centred around women is teaching men pleasure, emotional connection and equality.
"This is like a blueprint of what women fantasise about; so why wouldn't you read the playbook?"
A tool for conversations about consent
Romantic fiction has also helped Laura talk about intimacy with her husband, including boundaries.
"[Romance books] have helped me work through personal situations and overcome things I was afraid of.
"Pair that with a husband who is understanding and supportive, it is truly the best combination."
Joseph says communication is a key part of their sex life.
"I listen to her, and we communicate very clearly what our boundaries are and what we want to try and what we don't — and it works really well."
Bigambul and Wakka Wakka woman Melanie Saward is a romance author and lecturer at the University of Queensland.
She says romance books can demonstrate positive communication around consent and safe sex.
"I just read one a couple of weeks ago that the whole time that these two partners were together, he was saying, 'What do you like? Do you like when I do this?'," Dr Saward, based in Tulmur/Ipswich, says.
"It was teaching the woman to speak up and talk about her desires and what felt good for her."
There are many types of romance, and people who read dark romance, for example, might not want sexual scenarios to play out in real life.
"Some things are just fantasy", explains Dr Ariana, adding it's important to discuss the difference with a partner.
"Same with watching porn.
"You might picture those things in your head to warm up … but you might have some no-go zone for things."
No longer a stigma attached to reading romance
Reading romance is no longer something people feel ashamed of, says Dr Saward, but she doesn't know many straight men who do it.
"I go to a book club … and it's all women of different ages and relationships statuses, and they are all interested in talking about the spice."
Former rugby league player Luke Bateman of recent TikTok fame has been helping to normalise men reading romance novels, regularly providing his reviews of romantasy or "fantasy smut" in the world of #BookTok.
Dr Ariana says for men who don't read much at all, audio books might be a way in to romance.
"It's not like watching porn, it's entertaining your brain with a novel talking about emotional connection and the value of connectedness.
"It's giving some kind of path or script towards that pleasing, emotional, activating desire."
Where to start
For men or women looking to dip their toe into romance for the first time, Laura says there are some great starter books.
"Anything written by BK Borison, her books have a 90s/early 2000s rom com feel with feel good love stories that have a little bit of spice but just enough to help start you on romance.
"For dark romance, I would highly recommend anything written by Keri Lake or RuNyx, both are incredible storytellers who really not only have good plot, but the spice is unique with each book and really sets the mood."
For more emotional romance, she suggests author Kennedy Ryan.
"Her books are powerful and the romances are perfection in written form."
Ana Huang, Catherine Cowles, Briar Boleyn, CN Crawford, Myah Ariel, Brittiany Cherry, and Laura Pavlov are other authors she recommends.
Joseph says books he has enjoyed hearing about from Laura include A Broken Promise by Tetyana Walker, Until The Heart Stops by Gillian West, and Wild Card by Elsie Silver.
Dr Saward recommends people try a bunch of different romance genres to figure out what they enjoy.
Dr Ariana says life gets busy with work, parenting and housework, but couples taking the time and space to read romance together, or separately and discuss later, is one way to reconnect.
"It creates new excitement. And that excitement, that novelty, is what you need."
