If you're playing rugby league for Russia the odds are always going to be against you, so Robert Campbell thought he may as well try and get them to work for him.
He doesn't remember exactly where the scoreboard was on the way to Australia's record-breaking win in the final group match of the 2000 Rugby League World Cup, but it was late in the match and the knockabout former Gold Coast prop had a favour to ask his more illustrious opponents.
"You can't bet on sport when you're playing but a few of my mates back home were on Australia to win by 49+, which was the most the TAB was offering, and Russia to score either one, three, five or seven points," Campbell said.
"So when we were getting smashed I thought I'd kick a field goal.
"I was packing into a scrum and I knew a few of the Australian blokes so I said 'let me get close to the posts, the boys back home are on this.'
"They said they'd do it but our blokes couldn't hold the ball long enough! It would've been a big win."
Campbell was in the front row for Russia that day at the Boulevard in Hull and did his best not to be overawed by the Australians, but it wasn't so easy for his teammates.
For Kirill Kulemin, the youngest man in their squad at just 19 and a proud product of the Moscow Magicians, it was a hell of a place to make his Test debut.
"Honestly, I shouldn't have been there because I was so young but the coach pushed me and I got selected. What a nightmare game for a young man!" Kulemin said.
"You see all those stars playing against you, that's crazy, I'd only seen them in the video tapes people sent over. There was no satellite to watch the NRL games.
"I put headgear on before the game, it was the only time I ever wore it. I don't know why, I just had to do something."
By the time the siren sounded, Australia had run out a 110-4 victory over a ragtag bunch of amateur players from the winter frontier of the rugby league world.
The match was, and remains, the biggest win in Test football history and marked the end of Russia's maiden World Cup campaign.
They might never play in one again. In hindsight, them being there at all might not make much sense but dreams always make sense while they're happening.
The Russians lost all three games by a combined total of 224-20 and it was incredible, because for some of them it was the great adventure of their lives.
Leather melon in the USSR
Rugby union has a longer history in Russia than one might think. It was first played there in the 1880s and by the 1930s, with some help from the Soviet Union government, a national championship started up.
Teams were run through trade unions and while it was never a major sport the game made some headway. By the 1960s, one hundred teams from 30 different cities took part in throwing around what the Soviets called the "leather melon."
But the collapse of the Soviet Union in early 90s and the dismantling of the old systems put rugby on it's heels and rugby league filled the gaps.
"A lot of players with a rugby background switched codes because some teams got money, big budgets, and rugby was in difficulty due to the transition from the Soviet Union to Russia," Kulemin said.
"The rugby championship in the USSR was pretty strong with some talented players, but rugby was in difficulty and rugby league came along."
Born and raised in Moscow, Kulemin played ice hockey as a boy but had to give it up to concentrate on his studies. But he loved sport, contact sports especially and at 198cm and 125kg, it's easy to understand why.
"I did not find rugby. Rugby found me. I was at a train station and a coach saw a big man, he started talking to me about rugby – I had no idea what it was beside the oval ball but he said I was made for it," Kulemin said.
"I didn't realise there was two codes, but I started in rugby league. It was a passion and then it became my profession.
"In Russia, even when you're beginning to play a sport when you are small, everything has a professional mindset – if you do something, do it 100 per cent. You train every day.
"It's being a part of something, something different. I fell in love with rugby, what happens in the change-room, the friendships, the physicality, the team spirit."
Kulemin started playing for Moscow Magicians, who were part of the nascent Russian competition alongside teams like Kazan Arrows and RC Lokotmotiv Moscow.
Eventually it grew to ten teams and that was crucial because it meant Russia automatically qualified for the 2000 World Cup, to be played in United Kingdom, Ireland and France.
The Bears, as the national side was known, had been playing matches since 1991 but the local boys needed some reinforcements and so the search was on for someone, anyone, who could play a bit of footy and trace their lineage back to Mother Russia.
And that's where Campbell came in. A tough and skilful front-rower who enjoyed stints with Wests, Illawarra, Gold Coast and Widnes, he was playing with Redcliffe in the Queensland Cup when opportunity knocked.
"Tas Baitieri was running the international programs and was one of the pioneers of the emerging nations and getting new countries involved," Campbell said.
"The emerging nations people came to Redcliffe and told us to check our backgrounds. You might have a grandparent you didn't know about or a boundary that changed in World War One or World War Two and we looked it up and it was there.
"Let's be honest, I think they were looking for anyone who'd played a bit of footy at a good level.
"My grandfather was born in Poland but after the First World War Russia annexed that part of Poland and it became Belarussia, or Belarus.
"He was from Brest, which is on the River Mukhavets right on the border and I always had that Polish background through my grandparents.
"Mum's a Kaminski, she came over here as Maria Paulina Kaminski when she was four and didn't speak a word of English and now she's Maree Campbell, you can't get much more Aussie than Mum.
"I was set to retire. I was 29 and I felt like I'd done enough. My shoulders were buggered, I'd played the last six weeks with needles and we won the premiership.
"But Russia came up and I thought I'd have three more games."
Towering Roosters prop Ian Rubin, who was born in Odesa, Ukraine, and came to Australia as a teenager, was the only other player the Russians could dig up with NRL experience but it wasn't for lack of trying.
Penrith fullback Peter Jorgensen was sounded out but turned them down because the tournament clashed with his wedding. They tried to get Parramatta's Clinton Schifcofske only to find out he was from the wrong part of Poland.
The squad was filled out with a few other Aussies with Russian heritage but no full timers – Campbell himself was an apprentice plumber and winger Matthew Donovan, who hadn't played football at all that year, was working at Hungry Jack's in Leumeah at the time.
It might not have seemed like much but it's what coach Evgeny Kelbanov could assemble and so, with bookmakers listing them at 7500-1 to win the tournament, the Russians headed to the UK to take on the world.
'Not a single mass brawl took place without my participation'
Rubin and Campbell arrived ahead of the rest the side and set the tone immediately.
"We flew over a week before everyone else and had a few beers on the way over and we went straight into this press conference with all the other captains and everyone was bagging us," Campbell said.
"We're half-cut from drinking 50 beers on the plane and the English press asked us if we thought we'd be an embarrassment because we were going to get flogged.
"I said 'listen here, champ – you blokes are going to get flogged by Australia so don't you talk. You invented the game and you're rubbish, so leave us alone'
"Everyone had started packing up but that got all the camera lights on again."
From there, the Aussies got to know the boys from the old country and started to learn about what life was like on the edge of the rugby league universe.
In his 2017 book Stuff You May Have Missed, commentator Andrew Voss devotes an entire chapter to the Russians and Campbell details how the local players were all either "police, army or mafia," the reality of which hit him right in the face.
"We went to Sydney to do a training session and they told us to keep our receipts and they'd pay us back when we got to England," Campbell said.
"We all got paid back in US dollars, fresh and crisp, and the daily allowance was the same.
"They'd open up this bag and it was like Monopoly money, brand new with the labels still around it.
"The bloke who was the money behind it, he had a poker machine license back in Russia so imagine how much cash he had. I don't think you get that if you're a cleanskin."
Rubin was appointed captain and he spoke Russian, which made him the conduit between the two sides of the team. With their tournament opener against Fiji fast approaching, the beginners looked to their more experience counterparts to learn what they could.
"Rubes did as much as he could for Russia. He shouldn't have played full games because his habit was to play 20 minutes on and 20 minutes off, but he said he would play as much as he could," Kulemin said.
"It was interesting to see how they played and how they worked. We didn't talk much. But they showed us how the game was meant to be played."
Apart from the Australian contingent and five-eighth Andrei Olari, who'd played with Toulouse in France, the entire squad were from the Russian domestic competition.
They were raw, but rugged – tough utility forward Aleksandr Lysenkov was a convert from soccer and stories like his were not uncommon.
"I could have gone down a different, criminal path in life. In my youth, I was a real street punk, you could say the terror of the Timiryazevsky district," he told Vladimir Suetin of Russian newspaper Gudok in 2009.
"Not a single mass brawl took place without my participation. I never left the police department.
"Evgeny Klebanov, who bailed me out, helped me avoid going to jail. If it weren't for him, there would have been trouble.
"But in the end, thanks to coach Klebanov, thanks to the Lokomotiv club and rugby in general, I settled down and became a law-abiding citizen.
"I made my debut in the Lokomotiv senior team in 1988, when I was only 15 years old. I will remember my first game, against Kiev's Aviator, for the rest of my life. After all, I was playing against grown men.
"The Ukrainians gave me a good beating a couple of times. But I wasn't scared, I answered. After that, none of the Aviator players touched me anymore."
The physicality and strength of the players, if not their technical acumen, was what stood out to Campbell.
"The forwards were very straight up and down, you could tell they'd played rugby because they didn't really use fends or bumper bars or anything like that," Campbell said.
"Their competition was probably below the level of BRL reserve grade. But if you wanted to have a wrestle with them they could probably kill you, they were big and strong.
"They were tough as well. There was one guy who got injured at training and I thought he'd never walk again. They put some needles into him and he was back up, he must have been like Ben Johnson because he went from not being able to walk to beating everyone in the sprints the next day.
"Rubes can speak Russian but I couldn't. I can whistle and that's about it, so I'd do that when I wanted the ball.
"They were very regimented, they'd sit in the same place for every meal and if I sat in their chairs they'd lose it, they wouldn't know what to do once their routine got mixed up.
"They were nice fellas but I was always trying to loosen them up."
No beer, just vodka
Coach Klebaonv had led the national side since their first matches in the early 90s and the chain-smoking Master of Sports did what he could to whip his charges into shape for the opening clash with Fiji.
"He was the club coach of Lokomotiv and he was a good manager, he picked the players from the strong clubs and was good at getting sponsors," Kulemin said.
"I don't know if he was a good or bad coach, but he brought a lot of spirit and that was the main thing, to bring us all together, he brought a good ambience to the squad."
The run-in wasn't without it's difficulties. In their last training run before the match, the floodlights at the ground gave out and they were forced to go through their paces by the headlight of a few cars.
The plan was to keep things simple – or that was Campbell's plan, at least.
"It was different and a great experience, but I had no idea what the coach was saying before games," Campbell said.
"He'd be writing all these moves down on butcher paper and Rubes and I would be thinking 'let's just try and get through a set and kick to the corners.'"
It wasn't a bad plan against the Bati, especially given the cold winds were rising in Barrow. Not that the Russians minded – they'd played in knee deep snow back home.
They went down but the 38-12 loss was far from a disgrace as they crossed for two tries and trailed just 16-6 at halftime. Still, it was an eye-opener for some of the players.
"The best player in the squad was Robert Ilysaov of Kazan. He was the fastest guy, athletic, a very good fullback," Kulemin said.
"We played against Fiji and he was running down the sideline looking to score a try but he was being chased by Lote Tuqiri.
"Lote Tuqiri started way back on the halfway line, but he caught him and threw him over the sideline. That's when I realised the difference between us and the NRL boys.
"We didn't have Lote Tuqiri in Russia."
It was an encouraging result ahead of their next match, a showdown with England scheduled for just three days later.
Even so, Campbell tried to find the time for a beer with the small but vocal travelling Russian fans afterwards.
"There was a supporters group that came over as well and this was my first taste of what Russians were like," Campbell said.
"They brought wheelie bins full of ice and drinks and all that, but it's all straight stubbies of vodka.
"Those were the fans, I asked them if they had a beer and they said 'no beer, just vodka.' They were great."
England were smarting after going down 22-2 to Australia in the tournament opener in London and Russia knew exactly what to expect when they met at St Helens.
"Playing England the week before was probably a bit more inspiring to me than playing Australia, when you play in the backyard you always dream of smashing England so that was a pump up for me," Campbell said.
"But still, we were under no illusions about what might happen."
England ran out 76-4 winners with Russia's only points coming through two penalty goals to Mikhail Mitrofanov but again, there was precious little time to commiserate or wonder where it all went wrong.
Australia were waiting, again in just three days time, and as hard as Russia were sure to try the Christians probably had a better shot against the lions.
The wrong end of the record
There's the old saying about everybody having a plan until they get punched in the face. Russia had a plan for the Kangaroos, cooked up by Klebanov himself.
The idea was for Russia to take three hit ups, then kick deep and try and get aggressive with their defence. Given the physical strength of some of the players, it might have made sense on Klebanov's butcher paper.
Kulemin, as a young buck on debut, was certainly ready to give it his all. But 24 years older and far wiser, he doesn't mince words.
"What a stupid game plan! That's why it ended 110-4, if we'd played a bit more it might not have been that bad," Kulemin said.
"At halftime the Australian boys in the team said 'we're not going to do this, don't give them the ball.'
Most of the game was a procession. This was a dominant side even by Australian standards – they put 40 points on New Zealand in the final just a few weeks later and after the tournament were hailed as one of the greatest touring sides of all time.
On this night they rested Darren Lockyer and Brad Fittler, but they're still running out the best team in the world with the likes of Andrew Johns, Shane Webcke and skipper Gorden Tallis leading the way.
Wendell Sailor ran in four of the sides 19 tries and Ryan Girdler got three to go with his 17 goals for an individual total of 46 points.
Watching the video back, the game takes on a surreal quality. At times, they look like they're existing at a different speed to the Russians.
A crowd of just over 3000 braved the conditions at the Boulevard but they got right behind the underdogs and why not given local legend said the timber of the Threepenny Stand came from Russian pine?
It was 50-4 at halftime but Russia managed to cross the stripe when Campbell threw a dummy and put a grubber through for Donovan and the former Hungry Jacks worker made no mistake with the put down.
"Rubes and I weren't overawed, we'd played against a lot of the Kangaroos before, but we knew what we were going to get. That's why I put the kick in, I thought 'why not?' Campbell said.
"I was doing some work on the radio years later and we got Dell on once.
"He did the interview from a golf course and he was carrying on like he does, telling us all about the four tries he scored against Russia.
"I said 'nobody cares, nobody remembers, all anyone remembers, Dell, is that you came off your wing and we scored on you!'
"At the end of the tournament I wanted to go back to that English journalist and tell him England didn't score a try against Australia but we did."
Australia scored two tries in the final two minutes of the match to push past the century and secure the matches place in rugby league history.
For the Kangaroos it was a footnote but for Russia just being there was it's own sort of triumph and they celebrated after the match in full-throated style.
"I had so much fun but the Russian boys weren't allowed to drink until after the last game. You want to see chaos? It was unbelievable," Campbell said.
"They were all on it and eventually all the different blokes punched on, I think it was the mafia guys against the police. Rubes and I are sitting back in the hotel bar just watching these blokes go at it.
"They went out to the carpark, came back all bloodied up and they all got on the drink together, they sorted it out and afterwards they were fine. It was full on, but what can you do?"
True to his word, it was the last game Campbell ever played. Some Widnes fans he remembered from his time with the club got his boots from that night and they still might be behind the bar somewhere in the north of England.
For Kulemin, the tournament was just the beginning and for a moment rugby league seemed to have a future in Russia.
Over the next few years they entered teams in the Challenge Cup in England and their international side more than held their own.
Kulemin played in their next Test match against the USA in Moscow in 2002, which drew a remarkable crowd of almost 30,000, and came to Australia twice to play in the World Sevens tournament.
It wasn't always smooth sailing – the team was once banned from training near Randwick Army Base due to 'security reasons' but they were banner times for the Russians, who again enjoyed plenty of neutral support.
"Rugby league sevens rules were crazy. I was 120 kilos, playing against the backs of the league! It wasn't like rugby, where I could compete for the ball in the rucks," Kulemin said.
"But it was great, Aussie Stadium was full, everyone cheered for Russia because we were the underdogs.
"It felt like a World Cup because there were a few national teams along with the NRL teams and rugby league in Australia is so different, even different to how it is in England.
"I was very proud. It pushed me to play professionally because everything I do I try and do 100 per cent."
Eventually, the money started to run out, rugby union began to get back on it's feet and the spark of the thirteen man game began to go out.
In 2009, Kazan Arrows and Lokomotiv Moscow, the two best clubs in the Russian competition, switched to union and around the same time there was a civil war between rival administrators that led to a Super League style split.
The national side limped on but have been banned from all competitions since 2022 due to the invasion of Ukraine.
"There are a few amateur teams but it's not really big. Most of them play rugby league and rugby union. There were a few too many egos, not enough pure love of the game to bring it back," Kulemin said.
"In my dreams I wanted to play professional rugby league but it didn't happen so I changed careers and did that in rugby union."
Still, Kulemin himself is a Russian success story. After switching to rugby in 2004 he played at the highest levels of the game across Europe for Agen, Castrest Olympique, London Welsh, Sale Sharks and Perpignan.
He also earned 33 caps for the national rugby union side and would have played at the 2011 World Cup were it not for injury.
After his retirement in 2014 he spent some time coaching, including working as Russia's high performance manager for the 2019 World Cup and is now a player agent in France.
"When I started it was just trying to help the Russia guys export themselves and get a chance outside their own country," Kuelmin said.
"But it's not easy – there is a strong championship in Russia and they are paid well, so it's a big decision. So now I have French, Italian, English players, and I enjoy it, I am glad to stay in this sport.
"When I first started learning to play rugby I always thought I would go back to league one day but I grew to love rugby union as well. I still watch both, I don't think that could ever change.
"That game against Australia is so far away now, I think it must have been in a previous life."
Likewise, Campbell has walked his own winding path. He's on his third degree and is principal of All Saints Primary School in Boonah in south east Queensland.
Most of his football jerseys are in the back shed but his Russia ones still get a run sometimes.
"I gave the red jersey from the Australian game to one of my sons, he's worn it to Magic Round before which was good. This has been milked for 24 years now, we're coming up to a quarter-century of milking," Campbell said.
"I said it to Scott Sattler once, 'I've milked this better than you milked that tackle.' It's a bit quirky, but it was a cool thing, it was a lot of fun.
"When Shaun Johnson finished last week, his last game being a Test match, I texted Vossy and said 'looks like it's me, Shaun Johnson and Mal Meninga, we're the only three to play our last games as a Test match.'
"He just said 'you're an idiot' and I said 'I know.'"
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