TikTok users have recently been sharing "the most overstimulating part of motherhood".
The common culprit? Dogs.
While our furry friends can make beautiful family members, in the throes of early parenthood, they can also be a source of frustration.
Animal behaviourist Kate Mornement has consulted with many new parents and caregivers over the years.
"Because the demands of being a new parent more often than not involve reduced sleep, you just are less tolerant for everyday things that would normally not bother you," Dr Mornement says.
"If barking is waking a baby, then that is a much bigger issue compared to barking when you didn't have a baby."
Pets and the post-partum period
Nicole Highet is a psychologist and the founder and executive director at COPE (Centre of Perinatal Excellence).
She says because new parents have so many competing demands, resentment can build towards the pet, which has "dropped down the priority list".
Guilt can also arise when owners feel unable to meet the animal's needs, such as taking them for regular walks.
"It causes feelings of stress when you have competing demands you're not in control of," Dr Highet says.
Mikaela Thrift is the rehoming manager for the Animal Welfare League Queensland (AWLQ) Gold Coast shelter.
She's also a new mum, who owns three dogs and three cats.
Despite having worked with animals for a long time, Ms Thrift says she wasn't aware just how difficult the transition can be.
"It is easy to feel as though you're failing your pet if you prioritise your baby and vice versa."
She says lifestyle demands can add to the overwhelm for parents.
"As living expenses rise, and with housing instability being an ongoing issue, parents are returning to work earlier, working longer hours, which can contribute to parenting and pet ownership demands being overwhelming."
Is it you, or the dog?
Although some everyday dog behaviours may seem more annoying than before you had kids, sometimes a dog's behaviour escalates to something problematic.
"The dog's world changes; they are used to having humans all to themselves and also used to the routine they have before baby comes home," Dr Mornement says.
These changes can lead to issues including anxiety.
"Dogs might get clingy, start to show separation anxiety, like barking when you're not home, or becoming destructive," she says.
"They might pant a lot and follow you from room to room when you are home, which can be annoying when trying to settle a baby."
Other issues Dr Mornement has seen include fear of the new baby, which can lead to aggression.
"Dogs or cats can feel threatened by a newborn in the home, because it's something that is completely unfamiliar."
While it can be resolved, Dr Mornement warns it must be addressed as soon as possible with professional support.
Having a pet can be helpful, too
Pets can improve our wellbeing immensely, they encourage us to get out and about, and they provide important companionship, says Ms Thrift.
"For children, they positively impact their social and emotional development, teach responsibility and they can strengthen family bonds through shared focus of creating opportunities to interact."
All of this can be helpful when we are struggling, says Dr Highet.
"A dog in particular might be the long-term stable support; the thing that is so loyal and always there.
"I don't think people are prepared for how isolating parenting can be, and the company that pets can give is also a positive factor."
She says they also help us to "live in the moment".
When pet resentment leads to rehoming
In 2024, there were nine cats and one dog surrendered across five AWLQ rehoming centres due to the arrival of a new baby.
However, Ms Thrift expects that number could be higher as families may feel worried to disclose a surrender is due to a new baby "out of fear of judgement".
"Parents may feel they are making the best possible decision for their family and their pets.
"Some parents may be experiencing birth-related anxieties and are worried about the safety and health of their new baby.
She says while each case will be different, rehoming should be a last resort.
"[The] guilt can make new parents feel as though their pets are better with a new family that doesn't have the same demands
"[But] this is likely untrue — pets are usually very adaptable and so forgiving, that is why we love them so much."
She says support is available there to assist parents with their concerns whether that be through an animal trainer or vet, for example.
Dr Mornement says caregivers might not seek help as they are already overwhelmed and not wanting to add more tasks to their day.
"It's not a magic wand. You do have to implement recommendations for training or environmental management to help resolve issues.
"But it will benefit you in the long term."
How to prepare, and cope if you're already there
In the lead-up to the arrival of Ms Thrift's baby, she encouraged her animals to become familiar with new objects such as the cot.
She set up baby gates ahead of time to get her dogs used to not accessing places they previously had been allowed, and transitioned them from sitting in the car's back seat to the rear.
"We did these things over a period of time before the arrival of the baby so they had time to adjust."
Ms Thrift also sent home some of the baby's clothes from hospital to help the animals adjust to their scent.
"We also ensured that when we came home, we placed no pressure on the animals to interact with the baby, we let them greet at their own pace and respected their space.
"We also positively reinforced all calm and neutral behaviour around the baby."
On the days an afternoon walk isn't possible, Ms Thrift says she reassures herself it's a "season of life" and won't last forever.
Dr Highet says whether you prepare for pet resentment or deal with it after the baby is here, couples should talk about dividing responsibilities up to make things more manageable.
"You might need to change routine — for example one takes the dog for an evening walk while the other does bathtime."
For solo caregivers, it might be worth thinking about someone in your village who can step up to help keep the dog exercised and entertained.
Dr Mornement says we need to be realistic about the fact there are "no real quick fixes" when it comes to pet behaviour.
"It's about being consistent, understanding our pets' behaviour, but also our needs as well."
This is general advice only. Please see a professional for advice on your individual circumstances.
