Unwind with… is a regular column that explores the simple ways interesting people take care of themselves through periods of change or upheaval.
Actor and disability advocate Chloé Hayden lives in regional Victoria on Wadawurrung Country.
The 27-year-old stars as Quinni on Heartbreak High, with the show's third and final season streaming this year.
Chloé says the entertainment industry is exciting to work in, but it's "also really difficult when you're neurodivergent and rely so heavily on routine".
Chloé was diagnosed as autistic in her adolescence and lives with postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), endometriosis and adenomyosis.
"I'm a lot better at looking after and respecting my neurodivergent brain," she says. "I don't yet have the same grace for a sick body."
But she's learning to rest and make room for what she loves beyond work.
I feel my happiest when…
When I go out to be with my horses is probably when I feel the happiest.
Or, when I let myself relax.
Not the pretend relaxing where I'm telling my body that we're relaxing but my brain is going over a million things that I must do or that I'm feeling ...when I'm just reading a book or playing a video game, truly being-in-the-moment relaxing.
What I've learnt about priorities…
Since getting [the role of Quinni], my horses were put on the back burner. That was very scary and honestly caused a pretty big identity crisis.
I'm a competitive horse rider and I can't train my horses up knowing that I might have to [be called back to work before a competition].
I just went,"well, I guess I just won't do anything with them because there's too much emotion and heartbreak if I have to [leave for work] again".
I was then really confused when I was sad and anxious all the time.
I sat down and I spoke to some people, and I realised that there was no reason why I couldn't have both. I just wasn't prioritising things that I needed to prioritise.
When I'm having a health flare-up or a bad day…
I'm still trying to figure it out and learn when I need to stop. I'm also trying to learn when I need to accept help from other people.
I know what does help is switching off and respecting when my body is giving me signals to stop and taking that time off to rest.
Lying on the couch with my cats all over me and playing a video game and letting my husband look after me completely, giving in to going "you're not broken or wrong, you don't hold less value or worth because you're letting someone help you out".
I can't cook to save myself, but my husband knows my safe [comfort] foods. My mum's dal recipe is a big safe food.
If I'm having a shitty day, he usually knows before I do. He'll make sure that I'm eating and drinking throughout the day because it will get worse if I'm not looking after my physical body.
On life in the country...
I love being in the bush, I love having open fields around me, I love being away from everyone and being able to see the stars at night and being able to have all of my horses surrounding me.
You couldn't convince me to ever live in the city.
