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19 Feb 2025 14:55
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  •   Home > News > International

    Indonesians use 'loyalty tests' to check partner fidelity, but expert says honest chats are best

    In Indonesia, a "loyalty test" service offers to put relationships to the test — for as little as $1.70. From flirty texts and late-night calls to in-person meetings, hired testers push boundaries to see if a partner will stay loyal or take the bait.


    Read the story in Bahasa Indonesia

    When a message from an unknown WhatsApp number popped up on 22-year-old Latifa Wardiani's phone, she was immediately suspicious.  

    The sender had a profile picture of a young man, seemingly in his early 20s, posing in front of a car.

    Ifa, as she's more commonly known, thought he looked like someone "from a big city".

    The person introduced himself as Kai.

    He claimed to have gotten her number from a travel group.

    But for Ifa, something didn't add up.

    "I'm a stay-at-home kind of person. I'm so busy with work … how would I be in a travel group?" Ifa said.

    Despite initial suspicion, the conversation progressed, and Kai's messages took on a flirtatious tone.

    "He told me I was very pretty," Ifa recalled.

    "Then he asked about my job. When I said I was a preschool teacher, he replied, 'Oh, you must be really good with kids. That means you'll be a great mum for our kids some day.'"

    At that point, Ifa was immediately put off. She disliked how forward Kai was, especially since they had just met.

    Kai suddenly asked if she liked matcha tea and offered to buy her one.

    Ifa did like matcha, but only her closest friends and family knew that — and her fiance El Qodri Imamul Muttaqien.

    It was then that everything clicked.

    El Qodri and Ifa had been in a long-distance relationship since August and got engaged in November.

    But since then, El Qodri expressed concern that Ifa might cheat on him due to the distance.

    "My fiance is a bit sensitive and possessive … I think he was worried I wouldn't stay faithful," she said.

    Trusting her instincts, Ifa confronted El Qodri directly, asking if he had anything to do with Kai.

    That's when he confessed he had used a "loyalty test", paying an online service who employed Kai to contact Ifa and flirt with her to test her fidelity.

    Demand for such tests appears to be on the rise in Indonesia, with multiple advertisements for the services showing up on social media.

    Tests 'a bit too extreme'

    El Qodri said he had become more possessive of Ifa as their relationship grew more serious.

    "I get jealous easily, especially when it comes to someone close to me," he said.

    So when he discovered a service that could test a partner's loyalty, curiosity got the better of him and he wanted to see how Ifa would react.

    One agency offered a day-long loyalty test costing about 17,000 Indonesian rupiah ($1.70).

    The most expensive option — a five-day test — was priced at 72,000 Indonesian rupiah.

    Customers can also choose the method of flirting; from flirty texts and late-night calls to in-person meetings.

    Once a loyalty test request is made, an agency chooses a person called the "talent" to approach the partner.

    The talent will flirt with the target, whose reactions are reported back to the client.

    Clinical psychologist Zoya Amirin warned loyalty tests were not the best way to deal with emotions like jealousy and "a bit too extreme" as a way to test someone's faithfulness.

    "These services indulge negative traits, like insecurity," said Zoya, who specialises in love and sex psychology.

    She said the tests do not promote respectful and ethical relationships.

    "A relationship is ethical if there is respect, honesty, consent, trust, communication, emotional intelligence and accountability," she said.

    'Showed his true colours'

    Rini Larasati was curious to see just how loyal her boyfriend of four years truly was.

    Dava had cheated on her in the past but had promised to change.

    "I wanted to see if he really had … so I ordered the service," Rini said.

    She devised a plan: the agency's talent would pretend to be Dava's ex-girlfriend.

    The talent uploaded a photo of Dava's ex to a WhatsApp number, and sent him a message.

    At first, the conversation was casual, catching up on life.

    But when the talent asked if he was in a relationship, Dava said no.

    Rini was heartbroken.

    "It hurt … things had been good lately, and I trusted him," she said.

    A few days after, Rini ended the relationship but she still sees Dava.

    The pair don't have a label for their current relationship status.

    Looking back, Rini believes the loyalty test gave her clarity.

    "It showed me his true colours — he might never change," she said.

    She said she wouldn't hesitate to use the loyalty test again.

    "I'd recommend it to anyone in a relationship. It helped a lot," she said.

    'True love takes time'

    Zoya, the relationship psychologist, said loyalty tests did not necessarily provide a clear answer about whether a partner was faithful.

    She also questioned if the "success" of the test could be measured — or if such a test could be passed.

    "If your partner replies [to the talent], does that automatically mean they're cheating?

    "If they laugh at the messages, what does that mean?"

    Instead, Zoya emphasised the importance of open communication if there were concerns about cheating, and setting boundaries in relationships.

    "One of the best ways to maintain faithfulness is to actually talk about your boundaries. Don't assume your partner knows them," she said.

    For couples planning a long-term future together, Zoya recommended having honest conversations over secretive tests.

    "Discomfort in a relationship is normal, but the healthiest way to address that is to discuss the discomfort, not look for a 'gotcha,'" she said.

    Zoya encouraged couples to talk with each other about fears and insecurities, and have conversations about jealousy.

    "True love takes time. It's a constant process of getting to know each other, of understanding one another."

    © 2025 ABC Australian Broadcasting Corporation. All rights reserved

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