Vinnie Jones considered taking his own life following the backlash from him biting a journalist's nose
The former footballer recalled how he returned home from Dublin following the highly-publicised incident in 1995 and was overcome with shame, taking to his bed before sending his wife Tanya - who sadly died of cancer last year - out on an errand
8 July 2020
He recalled: "I went to the window and watched her go. Then I put my shoes on, went and unlocked the cabinet and took down my 20-bore shotgun, loaded it and walked out of the house."
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The 'Lock, Stock and two Smoking Barrels' star headed to a spot where he sometimes sat on an oil drum and "put the gun barrel in my mouth" but the efforts of his dog, Tessie, trying to get his attention pulled him out from rock bottom.
He told The Times magazine: "[Watching her] began to change my mood - the blackest mood I've ever had, a cold and calculated mood that I never want to experience again".
Vinnie admitted he was "disgusted" by his behaviour and thinks getting sober eight years ago has stopped him from ever feeling so low again.
He said: "It was just a mad moment years ago.
"You know, when it all came on top and I'd let everybody down. I was disgusted with myself really.
"Giving up the drink has given me a different perspective. It's made me stronger. I wouldn't have been as strong with losing Tanz. A lot of doubters might've said, 'Oh, he's going to go back on the drink now.' But I'm in my eighth year [sober], and I couldn't have gone back on it because that would have let her down."
The 55-year-old star insists his life gets "better" every day because he's given up drinking.
He said: "I've got great morals back now. That's what I wanted to build on. I can't tell people enough that if they give this non-drinking a chance, your life gets better and better; every week, every month, every year. And that's honest to God. And I'm not a preacher. People told me that's what would happen. And it did."